Tuesday, July 21, 2009

rollercoaster

when I honestly reflect on my life, my future, my testimony, and REALLY look at myself, I want my Marriage to survive. I know I'm so wishy-washy, and I've probably scared a few of you away. But ... well, its worth saving. Isn't it? Even if he doesn't want to right now? I mean, when I think about what life COULD be like, I want that. I want the fairytale, the romance novel that's never been written. I want my daughter to have her Daddy and to have her Mommy love her Daddy. I know I deserve to be happy. I know he deserves to be happy. But I also know that if we started to save our marriage, it could be greater than I can even imagine now. I mean, it won't always be easy, but I think the good times and the love will make up for it. But I don't know how to save it. I wont win him back by begging. Or by pointing out his faults. I've tried both, I confess. Even if they were unintentional. Neither one works or is healthy. So how do I get from wanting to save it to actually saving it?

1 comment:

  1. Keria, i think you are an amazingly strong woman. Just to be able to be honest with yourself, good and bad, is a testiment of how strong you are. Great for you. I pray that you will one day find the happiness that is instore for you and B. :) Have a smile today.

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