Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Overhearing Songs of the Heart

I'm sitting at my computer right now giving my daughter some time to herself (she didn't feel well yesterday and I think I was being too involved as a parent. AKA hovering). One of my favorite things in this life is to listen to her when she has no idea I'm doing it. That is when I see her true self. She's so good at hiding herself, even to her mother. I can see through it, usually, but it still happens. When she's by herself, there's a peace and serenity. No one for her to impress, no one for her to fear. Just her.

Listening to her, I get such peace.

I see through people. I see what people try to hide from me. And when I find a true moment in a person's life, I soak up every ounce of it. Especially with someone I love as much as my daughter. I wish she could be this way all the time. I wish she wasn't so afraid of people. I wish she didn't already have a mask she wears. I love the girl behind the mask. It really cuts me deep when she hides behind it, when she sells out her core values in order to feel accepted. Ranger and I do it, too (me, not so much anymore. I'm working on it tirelessly), and I don't want that for her.

Right now, she's singing Primary songs, and my heart sings in response.

"Heavenly Father, are you really there?"

Yes, child! Ask that question! I want you to know.

"And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?"

I sure hope so. Especially your prayers you don't know you're praying.

"You are his child. His love now surrounds you."

Stay there, my daughter. Stay in His love. It'll go everywhere with you. Even where I can't.

"Of such is the Kingdom, the Kingdom of Heaven."

Yes. Yes, it is. 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013


I've had the results from the Praxis for a couple weeks, but I haven't posted. It seemed that everything I was writing was coming out negative, and I took my mother's advice on letter writing and stepped back for a bit. You know, because I am good at taking breaks from blogging. ;c)

But the results are in, and I just wanted to share! First, let me give you some points of reference:

  • To become a teacher in my state, I need a passing score of 143. 
  • ETS (The test administrators) deem anything above a 181 to be worthy of their own elite honors program. 
I got 177. Four points shy of honors! 

The problem I was having was what to do with that information. But I think I know my course of action now. I have one more avenue I'm going to try, and then I'll resign myself to my fate. It'll be set in motion halfway through the month, and I'll know by the time school starts. Let's face it, though, it's a pretty slim chance. But, it's in God's hands. I needed the Praxis for something, so eventually I'll understand it.